Saturday, November 23, 2013


Everyone, at some point, seems to think they know what is best for other people's children. It is not until you have a child or two of your own that you begin to realize just how wrong you were. I find it merely annoying when other parents try to give me unsolicited advice. I get varying degrees of hostile when some cunt with no kids tries to tell me how to raise mine. The reason? Not even the so called experts can claim perfect knowledge over all needs for every child on the planet. Every child is different, and has unique behaviors, thoughts, feelings, and needs. 

Now I am one of those people that will give unsolicited information (like telling those new parents not to place their newborn baby, in the car seat, where you are supposed to seat a toddler as the infant can be injured or killed), and I will step in and say something about abuse, but the methods another parent uses are not my business. I am not raising their child, not constantly with that child, and therefore am ignorant to said child's unique needs and behaviors.

Example: At grocery store with kids and their dad. Older daughter insisted on buggy with dual seats in front so she didn't have to walk and her sister could sit with her. Partway through with shopping, girl one unbuckles girl 2 and encourages her to climb down off the seating while the buggy is being pushed by their dad. I gather dad's attention and remove girl 2 from harm's way, annoyed and a bit shaken at what could have happened as a result. Girl 1 had the nerve to, possibly assuming that I had not heard and seen said interaction, swear that she had done nothing. I did raise my voice a little when I told her she was lying, and that we both knew exactly what she did, and that what she did put her sister in danger. I also told her such behavior would not be tolerated or rewarded and she would receive no special treats for the day.

I was more than slightly furious when some woman had the nerve to insult my parenting as I walked past her, and not so gently gave her a piece of my mind. If you are not the person dealing with a situation from beginning to end and no one is being harmed, mind your business, seriously. Last week at a little food place I enjoy she acted out quite a bit. We had to be there so I could access the Internet, and do the few things remaining to get her enrolled in school. 

After ordering the food she wanted, she ran off to a table. I have no problem with that. She took off her shoes. I do have a problem with that. She hurt her foot in the restroom.  Poor thing. She screams about it for nearly 20 minutes. I am no longer sympathetic. She eats half of her food, then demands mine. She starts running around. Meanwhile, I am trying to prevent her three year old sister from following her example, eat, nurse her four month old brother, input her placement test scores, and not completely lose my mind. I take away the toy she had brought along. She sits again but demands to play on my laptop,  which I am using to get her into school. She then starts trying to climb over the back of the booth.

Nope. I am so done. I have had enough. I explain that she is a human child, not an animal. I also tell her that she has done little to act like my good little girl once we arrived and we will not be returning. I further explain that her behavior has been embarrassing and that I am disappointed. This is when some jerk makes a snide comment at me for scolding my child while she is misbehaving, while I am trying to do many other things. When confronted,  the moron refused to repeat his snide comment, and I left it be. I had all three little ones with me, was by myself otherwise, and there were two other small children present. I will never be the cause of a stranger's childhood trauma...

So while I am not perfect, I do my best. While I am doing my best, I will defend myself,  within reason. My children are not simply little adults. They are little beings that have yet to learn about the world and it is my job to teach them the fundamental basics of life. If there are to be no consequences as a child, how do they know there will be such as adults? Am I supposed to let them run amok, and risk their safety and the safety of others with no consequence? If I did, those same people would call me a lazy parent and say how awful my kids were. I have amazing, smart, beautiful kids. They are my children to bring up, and unless I ask for help, I expect nosy people to mind their own business and keep their unhelpful comments and attitudes to themselves.

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