Monday, June 30, 2014

Wearing Thin

I had this whole big plan for today. I was going to call early intervention to get the little guy evaluated, call the numbers I got from the hotline for mental health services, get on top of that medicaid application, clean the house. None of that happened. Not. one. thing. I did, however, manage to take a shower, shave my legs, and put on make up. By the time I was done, I was so exhausted that I wanted to nap. I still do. I am so depressed that taking a shower is like a 100 mile hike.

I have not managed to cook more than two meals all week. We have settled for pizza and cereal. I have manage to clean the living room every night and wash the dishes every other day. I guess that counts for something. I guess I would have more desire to keep this place clean if the kids didn't so delight in tearing it apart as soon as I have finished, or refuse to clean up at all. 

I need to make those calls tomorrow. I need to get both of these girls evaluated as soon as possible. Their behavior is destructive to a point that it is dangerous, and nothing makes a difference. My younger girl also needs a medical evaluation to see why she is not growing at all....and I am so depressed and stressed that I get a twinge of deep fear every time my SO texts me...I am so scared that he is going to leave me. I need a job so bad, our expenses are getting to be too much. has sucked.